What's Going To Happen?
by Alieyxa
Summary: [Oneshot]'In the stories I tell him, Prongs and Lily will live. Because he doesn't deserve to feel the sadness I do now...no one does.' [SiriusCentric, at Godrics Hollow][rated for language]


**What's Going To Happen?**

What's going to happen now?

Lily and James…they can't be…not them…they can't be…

_But they are._

Dead.

Peter, he sold them out…Wormtail.

That's right. That's why they can't be dead. That's why Peter can't have sold them out to Voldemort.

We were supposed to be the Marauders, even after we left Hogwarts, we were supposed to be friends…

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. That was us. That is us…at least, a few hours ago.

Now…if I look to my right, I can see James…Prongs.

And I can't lift my head up from the child in my arms, because if I do, I'll see the crying child's mother straight ahead…she's a redhead…she's still beautiful, even if her stunning green eyes are lifeless now…empty…_Lily_.

So I keep my eyes fixed on the scar on the child's head. A lightning bolt on his forehead…what's going to happen to him? What's going to happen to Harry?

What's going to happen to my godson?

What's going to happen to us? Remus and I? Moony and I?

It's just the two of us now, because Peter isn't worthy of my thoughts…except for one:

_I'm going to kill that fucking bastard!_

This is his fault.

You know, I never thought I'd be thankful for the full moon. Not even when Snivellus almost got torn apart by Moony one month. My doing, I might add, but Prongs…_James_…saved him. He never told me why. He never minded the pranks we played on Snivellus, usually. It was always Moony who tried to stop us.

But it's the full moon tonight, and that means Remus doesn't know. He…James and Lily are still alive to him…

I envy him that.

I always meant to ask Prongs about that night, why he did it, you know. I always meant to…

I guess I'm never going to find out, am I?

Unless…unless I talked to him again.

If I was in the same place as Prongs right now, I might know. If I was in the same place as Prongs right now, then the Marauders would be no more.

Because if Prongs goes, I go.

This is all Peter's fault, and I know that Moony'll see it that way, too. As selfish as that sounds in my mind, I know that he will.

Moony…

Could I do that to him? Could I make him the last Marauder?

If I go, I'm taking Peter down with me, and even if that worm lives, he's not worthy of being a Marauder.

Not after the bullshit he pulled tonight.

We're the last two. Moony and I.

Moony and Padfoot.

Fuck it.

Right now, I don't give a damn about Remus, and I don't give a damn about Peter. All I can see is James. Prongs.

When I look at James' son, crying in my arms, I don't just see Harry.

I don't just see my godson.

I see James.

Prongs.

and a bit of Lily, too, in his eyes.

I smirk through my tears. They're clouding my thoughts and vision, but I don't really care.

_Prongs would kill me for the things I'm thinking right now._

Yeah, he probably would.

James always had a thing against suicide. Not that I blame him.

Oh, did I say blame? I meant blamed.

Because right now, that's the only thing on my mind.

How I don't want to live.

He was my best friend.

He was my brother.

He was my only fucking family.

The only family that mattered to me.

Peter doesn't exist anymore, and Remus…Remus and I were never the closest. Not since he became a prefect in fifth year.

Merlin, that seems to trivial now.

It used to mean so much, but now the only thing -- things -- that mean anything, is Lily and James…and my godson.

I'm torn.

If I die, I'll be with my only family. My only brother. I'll be happy, and it's the easiest thing for me to do.

Merlin, why the fuck was I put in Gryffindor?

Courage? Bravery?

Yeah, I checked those at the door. They took a fucking vacation the minute I saw the Dark Mark over Godric's Hollow, and knew,

Absolutely, without a fucking doubt, knew

that they were dead.

So…why am I so very ready to give it all up? Why am I…

I look down at the child in my arms.

He's still crying, reaching out at my hand that's tucked itself into my robe pocket.

The one with my wand in it.

I didn't even notice.

My subconscious wants to die. It doesn't care about killing Peter for the fucking bullshit that he pulled tonight. It only cares about my best friend. My brother.

Harry starts to cry again.

It's like an internal battle, where I don't want to go on, but Harry wants me to.

I force a smile.

Harry's more important than my life…than my needs right now.

What's going to happen to him if I die?

At least, if I try to be there for him, he'll have someone there for him.

I'll tell him stories of the four great Marauders: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

In the stories I tell him, Wormtail won't be a traitor.

In the stories I tell him, everything will happen as we planned it.

In the stories I tell him, Prongs and Lily will live.

Because Harry doesn't deserve to feel the sadness I feel right now.

No one does.

But even as I think of a future where I take care of my godson, and bring him up right -- not the way that I grew up, no, certainly not -- I know,

In my heart, I know beyond a fucking doubt,

That if I ever see Wormtail again, it'll all go down the drain, because I'll kill the bastard.

I'll fucking kill him.

And that's why my idealistic future doesn't exist.

That's why I'm still left wondering…

what's going to happen now?

--

A/N: Okay, so I try to keep this from becoming AU (did I do a good job??). It was inspired by one of my earlier oneshots (which isn't posted under HP, sorry!), and is written in the same style. It's kinda choppy, but it's meant to be that way.

Reviews are loved!

Arien


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